Story of a Kidney

- Link to Story - Part I - My Story

- Link to Story - Part II - Aunt's Story

- Link to Story - Part III - Uncle's Story

- Link to Story - Epilogue

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This will be a long story, but I believe it’s fully worth my time to write this, and worth yours to read it. While it happened on August 9, 2009, I didn’t get the whole, multi-perspective version of this story until recently. So I will now tell it, and unravel the tale as it unraveled before me.

I have a lot of ridiculous stories, but this one is far and beyond the most ridiculous.

Background

On July 31^st, my uncle’s family went on a missions trip to Burundi, Africa. Burundi is right in the heart of Africa and is the poorest country on the continent. My uncle’s family consists of his wife and his daughter (my cousin) C, who is starting high school this fall.

My uncle is my mom’s younger brother. His wife’s mother (who went to school with Martin Luther King Jr. and has many other ridiculous amazing stories) lives with the family and hereforth I’ll call her Grandma K. I have no blood relation to her, but she is part of the family and is always at all the family gatherings we have, because the only family she has left is my aunt. Of course, she is quite the character and more than welcome.

Grandma K

Grandma K has been on dialysis for over a year due to kidney failure and she’s 81 years old. My aunt had been taking care of her pretty much 24/7, as they had an in-home dialysis machine that she needed every day.

I thought it very odd because at first, only my uncle was going to go to Burundi. But then not only my cousin, but also my aunt decided to join him and leave Grandma K behind for about 3 weeks. I wasn’t sure how they came to that decision but they are a Godly family of sound faith, so I figured they must’ve gotten direction to go.

To take care of Grandma K, my aunt hired different helpers to come in and do her dialysis at night, as well as a maid to clean up and a live-in helper to make her meals and take care of her. But the helper, A, went home on Saturday night so there was just one role missing: Someone to take her to church.

The Favor

My uncle asked me and my brother if it would be possible to stay over on Saturday nights for 3 weekends, sleep over, then take a cab and bring her to church the next morning. My brother had to go back to school, so he couldn’t, but seeing as how I had no job, I had plenty of time and of course told them that I could do it. Grandma K is pretty hilarious and I appreciated any time I could spend with her. Also anything I could do to help my uncle’s family was a no-brainer, as they’ve taken great care of me in the city and also hosted bi-weekly bible studies at their house for me and some friends.

It wasn’t a big deal, especially compared to what everyone else who was helping out had to do. All I had to do was take a cab with her in it.

The first weekend

The first weekend S came and helped out and everything went smoothly without a hitch. We were up at 8am, out the door at 8:30, getting breakfast at 9, and at church by 9:40, well before the 10am service started. After church, some women were going to take her to lunch and home, so that wasn’t a concern.

It was a bit hard, because K had a hard time walking, would need to take a rest after a few steps, and I would need to support her from the left side as she held a cane in her right hand. But nothing out of the ordinary. It was also raining, so having S around was fantastic so he could go out and hail a cab first while I slowly walked K to the car. But now that I had done it once I figured the next two weeks would be piece of cake.

The second weekend

The second weekend S was in Vermont, so I was flying solo. But the forecast was no rain, so I wasn’t concerned. I got to my uncle’s place at 8pm. Usually, a helper, this time D, comes in to start her dialysis at around 9 or 9:30. Tonight, D was late and they started the dialysis at 10:30pm. It was a little worrying since dialysis took a long time, but I didn’t think much of it.

The next morning I woke up at 8 and knocked on the door to see if K was up. She yelled back to me that the dialysis wasn’t finished yet so I just got ready and waited. I don’t remember too clearly, I think I may have slept for another 30 minutes. In any case, the dialysis takes about 10 hours to complete, so it ended late.

The unraveling continues

I finally heard her emerge from the door a little past 9:30. I was all ready to go and almost jumped out of my chair when I heard her coming out to help her walk to the door. “I’m ready, let’s go” she said in Korean. Only, she wasn’t ready.

Unfortunately, Grandma K came out in a partial state of undress. She came walking out with a nice blouse, socks, and her undergarments on. At this point, I was mentally holding my head in my hands. I kept wondering what’s going on what’s going on.

I scampered about looking for another to put over Grandma’s K’s legs. The thought to get a blanket and wrap her in it actually crossed my mind.

As I failed to find her pants, she asked for her shoes and told me she was ready to go. I told her she didn’t have any pants on. “Oh?” she said as realized she had no pants on. And then she asked for her shoes anyway.

“What about your pants?”

“I can put them on after I put on my shoes.”

After trying to reason with Grandma K that that was ridiculous, and meanwhile my brain screaming at me saying this whole thing was ridiculous and that we were late to church, I finally gave her shoes. She slipped them on.

Church was at 10am. It would take us at least 20 minutes to get there. We were late.

I finally ran into her room to get a pair of pants. I grabbed the first pair I saw hanging somewhere (an admittedly ugly pair of purple pants of some sort but there was no time, seriously), and rushed them out to her, where she was waiting, sitting in a chair, with her shoes on.

Without really processing what was supposed to happen next, I just got down on my knees and proceeded to help her put her pants on, over her shoes, which took a little extra time. One leg up and over, ok, second leg, up and over, ok. Bringing up the pants around her butt, ok. And then I waited for her to buckle her pants.

Right as she sighed to rest, the phone rang. She told me to pick up the phone.

I never pick up the phone, it’s not my house, Grandma K doesn’t really speak English, my uncle gets an inordinate number of wrong number calls and telemarketers, and I really don’t like answering the phone at someone else’s house. But Grandma K told me to answer the phone, and she had to buckle her pants anyway, so I went and got the phone. It was 9:51am anyway. I was already hosed; we were going to be late.

“Hello, may I speak with K?”

I handed the phone over to K who had completed fastening her pants. I was ready to dart out the door, her cane was ready and.. she of course already had her shoes on.

Of course, instead of leaving, K was yelling at someone in English on the phone.

“No! I have to go to church! I will go later.”

This continued for a couple minutes or so I finally took the phone and she readily gave it to me, waving me off because she didn’t know what was going on. I wanted to get this over with so I could go to church. For the love of God, seriously.

“Hello? Sorry I’ll speak on the behalf of my grandmother.”

“Yes, this is the ### Institute.”

“Yes?”

“We have a possible kidney coming in for your grandmother today. We need her to come in to do some final blood work to make sure it’s a match.”

I tensed up. Eyes lit up. Then I remembered we had to go to church.

“Wow. Is it possible to come in after 12pm? That’s when our church service ends.”

“Umm.. you really should come in now. Or else we need to move on to the next person on the kidney donor list.”

“Ok thank you so much, can you tell me where we need to go? I’ll be there right now”

It was as if a light bulb went off in my head. I jotted down the hospital name and location, grabbed my bag, and began to take Grandma out of the apartment.

“Are we going to church now?”

“Grandma, God said it’s ok not to go to church today. We need to go to the hospital.”

The Hospital

I hailed a cab and took her to the hospital, where we had a wheelchair and I wheeled her up to the transplant ward. At this time I also got in touch with D, the dialysis helper, who through the church called the missions department and left a message with my uncle’s family. D also showed up to the hospital and tried to explain to Grandma the good news. K honestly had no idea what was going on.

As we waited in the waiting room, I just played the piano for a while. Eventually a nurse came in, asked her a few questions, took her blood, then let me know what to expect next.

The blood test would take a few hours, and it was 10:30 now. She was not to eat after 1pm, because she could be in surgery as early as 6 or 7pm tonight. She told me to expect a call between 4 and 5pm from the transplant coordinator. I thanked her, then planned out the rest of the day.

Grandma K was clearly out of it, and I thought it was just a bad dialysis experience, but apparently her condition had been worsening for a long time. Since she didn’t know what was going on, I had to argue and explain to her why she needed to eat even though she didn’t want to eat breakfast, I had to explain to her that she should be happy and that this was possibly incredibly good news.

The wait begins

After we returned to the apartment at 10:45, I ran out and got her some coffee and breakfast. Then I did some quick internet research on kidney transplants and expected risk and recovery time. I tried to figure out a way to get in touch w/ my uncle and aunt in Africa. I decided to email them in case they were able to read that:

Subject: urgent update

Date: Sun, Aug 9, 2009 at 11:25 AM

not sure who can get email, and I'm sure you will receive an update by message/phone sooner than you read this, but just in case

i got a call this morning asking for a blood test because the ### hospital will be receiving a kidney today. they needed the blood test to match the kidney.

we just got back from the hospital, it is 11:20 AM right now. just in case, grandma will not eat after 1PM, and we will hear at 4-5PM whether or not the kidney is a match. if it is a match, then we will go back to the hospital and get prepped for a transplant tonight, with grandma entering the OR (operating room) around 6-7PM.

D is aware of what's going on and i will call A as well, and i will be here the whole time. we are all praying

**impt** if this does go through, i am sure you are aware of the risks involved with a surgery, and grandma will probably need to be in a hospital for at least a week after (i did some quick internet research). however, i fully believe the fingerprints of God are all over this. last night, D was late starting the dialysis, so it ended late this morning. even then, grandma was having a hard time orienting herself and we had trouble locating her pants. we received the call from the hospital around 10am, which we shouldn't have even been around to receive, but if we hadn't picked up the call, the hospital would have moved on to the next person on the list. it was very, very fortuitous and providential; i usually don't even answer the phone here (i didn't last week, maybe i should more often) but i did this time around because grandma asked me to.

i am praying for her health and for the kidney to be a match. i will write again when i can.

call me at ### ### #### if you need to reach me.

God bless,

-b###

The wait continues

As I sat trying to process what was happening, I truly wondered if this was really happening. A ridiculous morning truly, now turning into a possible miracle. But I truly believed I was in the midst of a miracle that was unraveling before my eyes. If all that absurdity hadn’t happened, we would never have been around to get that phone call. We just would’ve missed it and that would have been that. What is going on here? It was a matter of 10-15 minutes. That’s how small the window was.

But in any case, I was tired, so I took a nap from 1:30 to 3pm.

I woke up when the live-in helper, A, came at 3pm. I had called her and kept her in the loop of what was happening and she was so happy, praising the Lord and telling Grandma K how good this was, that this was news we were waiting for, and that we should keep praying.

In the meantime, I had gotten to speak w/ my uncle and aunt over the phone, and now had their number I could reach them directly on.

4pm

No calls.

5pm

Nothing.

6pm

Still no calls.

7pm – Hope begins to fade

I couldn’t believe we still didn’t get a phone call. But on top of that, my cell was running out of battery and I needed to get in touch w/ people. On top of that, I had a sick 81 year old grandmother who hasn’t eaten since noon. But I couldn’t believe that this wasn’t happening. It just couldn’t end like this.

I frantically called around and after several calls to several places, finally got a hold of the transplant coordinator to give me an update.

She told me that the test takes a long time, and that to expect a call between 10pm and 11pm.

“What about eating? My grandma hasn’t eaten since 12pm.”

“Tell her that it’s ok to eat something light.”

“What about dialysis? Her dialysis is supposed to start at 9pm.”

“The hospital will take care of the dialysis if she comes in for surgery.”

“Ok”

I gave her my cell phone number to call instead of the home number, since A can’t speak English well and Grandma K was pretty out of it still.

I finally decided to go home to charge my phone, and to eat some dinner. I mean, I couldn’t eat in front of Grandma K who couldn’t eat. That’d be ridiculous.

Back in my apartment

I took a cab home at around 8pm. On the cab ride home, I realized that I forgot to ask the transplant coordinator about dialysis; what if we got a call at 10:30pm? K needs to start her dialysis at 9pm.. is it ok to end dialysis before it’s finished?

After calling some people with no luck, I remembered that my best friend’s dad was a Nephrologist. So I called up Dr. Kim and asked him. He had no idea why I was asking, but he told me yes, it’s okay to stop a peritoneal dialysis before it finishes. Whew, ok. I then called D to tell her that I would let her know, but that she should be ready to come in again at 9pm to start the dialysis.

I got home, started charging my phone, then ordered some Japanese food for delivery.

5-10 minutes later I got a phone call.

“Hello?”

“I have good news! I have a kidney for your grandmother!”

I tensed up. Eyes lit up.

“Thank you so much. Where do we need to go? I will be there right now”

*Laughs* “You don’t need to hurry that much”

I immediately called my A and my Grandma, told them to news and to meet me at the hospital. Then I called my uncle, where it was after 2am.

“Hello?”

“Hey samchon (uncle), the kidney is a match. We’re going to the hospital now.”

Pause.

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

I grabbed my stuff and went out of the apartment. On the way out I threw $20 to one of the guys who works in the building.

“Hey, I got some food coming here. Pay for it and eat it.”

“Hey B man, you sure? Is it good?”

“Yea it’s good. Don’t worry about it.”

“Wait, why you in such a hurry?”

“My grandma’s getting a kidney transplant. Going to the hospital now.”

“Whoa that’s crazy man! I never heard of anyone get a kidney off the list!”

“I know. It’s ridiculous. Catch you later man”

On the cab ride to the hospital, I called my parents. I explained to them what was happening, and they said they would get in touch w/ the rest of the family that was nearby. I also texted some friends, telling them to pray for K’s transplant.

The Hospital Part II

As I waited at the entrance of the hospital with a wheelchair, getting a little agitated because they were late, I called A several times. K is kind of stubborn sometimes, so apparently she had the cab let them off at the wrong corner of the hospital, even though I expressly told A where to go. In the end, and another cab ride or so later, I just talked directly to the cabbie and told him where to be.

I wheeled K back up to the transplant ward and there she was admitted and put into her own room. As she was checked up, I got another call from my parents, asking where the hospital was, telling me she was coming down w/ my dad and another aunt.

After settling in, my parents shortly arrived and my dad told me to go home and eat something. I had just started my new job, and had my 3^rd day of work the next day. It was 10pm. This story started 26 hours ago.

God’s fingerprints

As I explained to them the day and they looked at me in amazement, they said they were glad that I was in the right place at the right time. There were so many moving pieces and circumstances that had to be right for this to happen.

If my aunt had stayed and not gone, they would’ve missed the call because there was absolutely no way they would’ve been in the apartment at 9:51am. If D hadn’t shown up late, the dialysis would’ve finished on time. If Grandma K had worn her pants, we would’ve missed the call. If I hadn’t picked up the phone, everyone would be at home right now. If I didn’t take the phone back from K to find out what was going on, none of this would’ve happened.

I thought the window of opportunity was 10-15 minutes. But then I realized, it was a matter of seconds. If K had fastened her pants and I had helped her up, it was game over. There was no way I was going to answer the phone, especially if K had gotten up. It’s hard for her to walk, she needs my help to be at her side, and we were LATE. All I had on my mind was getting to church on time.

As I headed back home on the cab, I texted more friends, telling them to pray for K’s surgery. I talked with a couple friends to share the crazy day, then went home.

I ended up having dinner w/ my friend J that night, and I told him some of the craziness. We stayed up a bit late, but then I went to bed.

I got a call around 2am, saying that she had gone into surgery. At 8am, I got a call saying that everything was ok and that it had gone successfully.

I was just amazed. The whole day was a miracle. And I was so blessed to have been a part of it. And a big smile stretched across my face.

The day after

That day, I went to see her at the hospital. J insisted on coming, so he came with me. He also insisted on getting flowers, so we trudged through the incredibly humid streets for 30 minutes looking for an open flower shop at 8pm before giving up and buying some flowers at the hospital store.

K was so happy to see us, and she looked, well, ridiculously well. She was so energetic and complaining about everything and yelling and shouting that it really didn’t seem like she had just had a major surgery.

After sharing stories of what had happened, and Grandma K retelling the story full of holes and inaccuracies, we said our farewells for the night to go get dinner.

It was truly amazing. And it was a story I had to share with everyone.

But

What I didn’t know, was that I only had one part of the story, and that the entire story was even more wonderful, even more amazing, even more magnificent, even more ridiculous and even more blessed.

And I found that out when I spoke with my uncle and aunt when they returned from Africa.

I will write that next part next time.

God bless everyone.